Aug 23rd 2010

Dear Ross,

I know you help people in matters of the heart and truly hope you can use your gift to help me. There’s a boy in my class who I am head-over-heels in love with. Every time he comes into the room my heart soars and I get butterflies in the pit of my stomach. Birds suddenly appear, every time he is... well, ok, they don’t, but you see what I’m getting at. Unfortunately, he doesn’t seem to know I exist. He hasn’t said one word to me all year and each time he ignores me is like a dagger in my chest. I want to tell him how I feel, but I’m scared of rejection. What should I do?

Brian, CA

Dear Brian,

Hmmm, this is a tricky one. To tell or not to tell, that is a humdinger of a question. Might I suggest you go slowly at first? Strike up a conversation about your subject and try to find out what his interests are. If it turns out he likes Monster Trucks, hunting and bull-castrating, I’d steer clear. If he’s into musical theatre, get in there! Hope this helps.

Dear Ross,

I need to know how I can get the males in my class to take me seriously. I am consistently top of my class (Astrophysics, no less) and have had several articles published in scientific magazines. However, I happen to be a blond. This means that, despite all these achievements, whenever I answer a question or contradict the professor, all the men snigger and suggest I might be more comfortable making the coffee. Cream and two sugars, please. What can I do?

Unappreciated, AL

Dear Unappreciated,

I’m afraid you are the victim of the longstanding stereotype that, whilst blonds do have more fun, they are as thick as pigswill. Given your accomplishments, I’m guessing the men in your class are attempting to perpetuate this myth because it makes them feel better about ‘being beaten by a girl’. Just keep going on the way you are and we’ll see who is laughing when you end up a leader in your field. However, if it’s a quick fix you’re after, shave your head. If movies have taught me nothing else, it’s that men take notice of a bald woman. Star Trek? G.I. Jane? And you didn’t see people asking Ripley to make the coffee when she was saving their asses from the Aliens, did you?

Dear Ross,

iPad, iPad, iPad. That’s all I hear around campus these days. It appears the local Starbucks won’t let you sit indoors unless you own one and even politicians are getting in on the act. What’s the deal? Do I really need one? What’s wrong with my old iPod and a paperback book? Money is quite tight at the moment but I obviously don’t want to be the only person who doesn’t have one. What do you think?

Confused, GA

Dear Confused,

Whenever I wanted something all the kids at school had, my dear mother used to say: “if all the kids jumped off a cliff, would you jump too?” The iPad is basically electronic eye candy. It looks fantastic but doesn’t do anything original and you wouldn’t miss it if it weren’t there. As such it’s a lot like Cameron Diaz. If you own an iPod and a book, I can’t think of one good reason to buy this gadget. So, what do I think?

I’d sell my dear mother to get my hands on one!

Look @ the Ads you freeloaders!

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