Mar 30th 2009
Dear Ross,
My classes are so boring! How am I going to get through this semester?? -Dazed in Delaware
With today's technology, you can sit through every lecture and be fully entertained by any number of hand-held devices. I speak not of vibrators (though I hear they are quieter, stronger, and more unobtrusive every day!), but of an equally stimulating type of equipment: microcomputers. Computers like PDAs or GameBoys can be easily concealed from a long-winded professor. Balance your checkbook or catch that elusive Pokémon while your instructor prattles on about Calvin's Geneva. But be careful! Nothing says "I'm not paying attention" like a series of bleeps followed by a loud, tinny voice ringing through the classroom proclaiming: 'WELCOME TO CHESSMASTER'. You must be sure to turn down the sound on your portable electronics. Another thing to be aware of: total video game immersion. Some people get a little overzealous when they play video games. Don't be caught under a professor's gaze while you jerk spasmodically, trying vainly to get Wario to jump that extra millimeter. So if you are that bored, run out and buy some electronics to keep yourself entertained during class. Whether you get a PDA, GameBoy, or vibrator, the power to escape ennui is in your hands.
Dear Ross,
Finals kicked my ass last semester. Any suggestions on how to make things go more smoothly? -Jay
Finals are almost never easy unless you luck out and get that "take-home" crap. The best way to approach finals is come up with a study plan and stick to it. Each person must come up with a plan that is right for them, so I cannot say how you should approach finals. However, I can give you some clues as to when your preparations are going astray. Following is a short list of sentences. If you speak or hear any of these sentences spoken around you during finals week, grab your books and run to the library.